god was showing off when he made you
by mirror of words
Summary: [komaeda/hinata] He slicks his clammy palm through his hair, beady drops of sweat trickling down his face. Hinata continues to stare at him with his shamrock gaze that, as soon as Komaeda opens his mouth to speak, dies, and his gaze goes lifeless. "H-Hinata-kun, do you have any raisins?" No, the line goes. "Well, how about a date?" Of Komaeda, Hinata, and corny pickup lines.


a/n: so i read a thing on tumblr stating komaeda is the farthest thing from being a smooth as fuck sex god and i'm just laughing so here's a thing

the ending is a little abrupt. i don't know how to end it. suggestions/concrit/reviews welcome.

for mei— because you're a lovely pie

* * *

**smooth moves, son**

he slicks his clammy palm through his hair, beady drops of sweat trickling down his face. hinata continues to stare at him with his shamrock gaze that, as soon as komaeda opens his mouth to speak, dies, and his gaze goes lifeless. "h-hinata-kun, do you have any raisins?" no, the line goes. "well, how about a date?"

komaeda/hinata, **super dangan ronpa 2 (c) spike chunsoft**

**warnings**: pick up lines you will choke on, ooc!Komaeda, underdeveloped relationship(?)

au where the killings never happen/prior to school life of mutual killing

* * *

"Hinata-kun?"

"Oh, no, Komaeda, I'm sorry, but I—"

"Will you hear me out, just this once? It isn't as bad, I assure you."

"Komaeda, I am _honoured_, but I really have to—"

"U-Um...! Y-You're so hot, Hinata-kun—"

"_Komaeda_—"

"—you melt the plastic in my underwear!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Hinata-_ku_—"

"You just had to, didn't you. Komaeda."

"Mm... Then—"

"_Don't_!"

.

Komaeda Nagito had a crisis.

Perhaps not a crisis, per se, but, maybe, yes, that could be considered so. A crisis in the form of a talentless yet wholesome individual identified as Hinata Hajime.

He was... for lack of a better descriptive, charming. Everything Komaeda aspired to be, such a being filled with hope and aspirations, unlike himself. He felt a certain pull towards him, not unlike magnetic attraction, and Hinata-kun himself was willing to accept someone like him, so the ultimate insignia of hope and no qualms about it at all.

Except, he might have, how to say, fallen head over heels for the boy.

It wasn't intentional! He'd jump in to clarify, if anyone's interest was piqued. It's just—Hinata-kun, he's—urk—Hinata-kun was shining with hope, but, of course, that's not the only redeeming quality he has, despite being a talentless fellow Hinata-kun really was amazing, an amazing, amazing person, and he just—he just, kind of, maybe not really intentionally but kind of accidentally—

Emotions were... strange. Komaeda understood that, now. Better than anyone.

Thus comes in the plan.

Komaeda knew he could trust Kuwata-kun. His can of beans were accidentally spilled in front of this ace baseball star, but he knew there was nothing to worry about despite Kuwata-kun's occasional runny mouth. He had heard Kuwata-kun rallied conspicuous amounts of attention with parties of all kind, and he certainly would have a trick or two up his sleeve, would he not?

Kuwata-kun had an ear-to-ear grin hearing Komaeda's predicament, and he shoveled out a rather odd-looking book from the bowels of his dorm for Komaeda—"100 Pickup Lines Designed To Woo!" it proclaimed, in it's multi-coloured block letters—and with a thumbs-up and a winner's grin, Kuwata-kun had patted his back and told him, "With this, you'll win his heart, for sure!"

Naturally, Komaeda believed him. And naturally, things did not end well.

.

Attempt one.

"Hinata-kun?"

Said individual turned to him, and Komaeda's heart fluttered. Hinata-kun's mossy eyes lit up with unspoken joy, and he waved at him. "Hey, Komaeda. What's up?"

"O-Oh, nothing much, really." Come on, Super High School Level Good Luck. You stressed over Kuwata-kun's gift the whole night. Success guaranteed, the back cover proclaimed, one hundred percent. "Say, Hinata-kun."

"Hmm?" His curious glance made Komaeda swallow down a nervous bout.

"D-Do you know what my shirt is made of, Hinata-kun?" His raised eyebrow preceded by a narrowed gaze should've been all it took to tell him nope, this is not a good idea, but being Komaeda, he went with it. "B-Boyfriend material." He sputtered out, feeling his face warming up as he forced a smile. Yanking at his _boyfriend material_ for emphasis, and good measure.

Hinata-kun stared in a stifling silence.

"...Hinata-kun?"

A delayed response, but a response, nonetheless. "Yeah."

"Did I... mess up?"

Beat. "Yeah."

_Oops._

.

Attempt two.

Hinata-kun was in Komaeda's dorm, and they were making idle chatter, long since giving up over the layers of books that coated Komaeda's desk. Hinata-kun was on his bed, throwing Komaeda's pillow back and forth with him, while Komaeda remained seated by his desk, crossing his legs on the seat.

"—but, really, Enoshima-san has some wild dreams, doesn't she?" Hinata-kun chuckled. "Saying things like, _there'll be a reign of despair coming soon_, ooh," he crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out, crossing his eyes, a shoddy mimicry of said fashionista, and Komaeda struggled to suppress his peal of laughter. It's rude, but he couldn't really help but have the same thoughts. "Oh, oh, have you seen her and her matchmaking skills? She thinks To-_gay_-mi has a crush with Naegi-san." He allowed a thoughtful expression. "Honestly, if Naegi-san has to hook himself up with anyone, it ought to be Maizono-san."

"Oh, but I think Ikusaba-san and Naegi-kun would make a better pair," Komaeda provided. "Although, he serves to be close with Kirigiri-san, as well."

"Ehh, Naegi harem," Hinata-kun chided, and Komaeda couldn't help stifling another bout of laughter, as well. Honestly, he felt like they were childish high schoolers giggling on every shred of gossip they sniffed out.

"Oh, but," Hinata-kun continued on, "Did you hear? Word on the block says a few of the girls are rooting for you and me to become an item." He laughed, and Komaeda's heart turned dead cold, his giggles jamming into an erratic halt. "Funny, isn't it? ...Komaeda? You alright?"

"Ah! Um..." His palms felt sweaty, all of a sudden, and he almost missed the pillow flung his way. "Y-Yes, that's certainly humourous," he fumbled with his words, earning an extended state from his friend. Did Kuwata-kun rat out on him? He couldn't possibly. He gulped. _Do or die_, the phrase surfaced in his mond. Do or die. Indeed. Now seemed like a perfect chance. And, _carpe diem_.

"Well. They certainly aren't wrong to think so! B-Because, when I first saw you, I though you were, mm, Super High School Level Magician, because I went, 'a-abraca-_dayum_'!"

He assumed the tone he presumed right for the moment, and, what were the chances for botching it? He had luck on his side, after all. He certainly must've blew Hinata-kun off his feet, because he—

—had a look on his face that Kuwata-kun would describe as vaguely pissed off.

And, as if that wasn't enough, the comforter catapulted at point-blank range into his face and the sound of angry stomping slowly growing distant told him, yes, Komaeda, you've botched it, and, no, luck certainly isn't on your side.

.

Attempt four.

This time, Hinata-kun was wary of Komaeda's advances. But he still couldn't deflect the corny pick-up lines that came his way.

"Mm, Hinata-kun, my tooth hurts. Do you know why?"

"Because there's a cavity eating you out. Go see a dentist."

"...well, that cavity's there because you're so very sweet, Hinata-kun!"

"Damn it, Komaeda."

That day, Hinata-kun proved that he was, in fact, not as sweet as Komaeda's pick-up line surmised him to be.

.

Attempt... _umpteen_.

Komaeda was ready to give up. But Komaeda was a determined, hopeful student. He was ready for Hinata-kun to give in.

"Mm, Hinata-kun?"

"_Don't_."

Hmm. Hinata-kun was onto him. Komaeda had to be careful with his advances. "B-But I wasn't going to—I just wanted to ask you to accompany me to the library."

"And then. You're going to find out you don't have your library card, but damn, can you check me out anyway? No, thanks, Komaeda. Try again next time."

"...mmph."

That was an utter failure before it even began.

.

And then, a miracle happened.

Komaeda stifled a sneeze, not wanting to spread the flu he caught to Hinata-kun, who took the time off after school to tend to him. Thinking about it made Komaeda feel warm and fuzzy feelings inside, and he could crack a cheesy pick-up line about it, but he surmised that Hinata-kun would no longer be willing to associate himself with him as an outcome. So he held it in.

"You feeling any better?" Hinata-kun inquired, pulling the blankets up to Komaeda's chin for him, earning a grateful glance in response. He set the mug of soup down by his bedside table and let out a little sigh. "Honestly, where do you come around getting these bugs, Komaeda? It's not even the flu season. I wonder where your luck's run off to."

"W-Well, you should stay away, Hinata-kun." Komaeda sniffled. "B-Besides," he cracked a tiny smile, and he swore Hinata-kun shifted uncomfortably, expecting an assault of a pick-up line from him. Which he did receive. "My luck's right here as it is. If I didn't get sick, I wouldn't be in your care. I'm—" he paused for a sneeze. "—pretty lucky, you know, Hinata-kun."

Hinata-kun groaned, and Komaeda shuffled into his sheets. He didn't want to see Hinata-kun leave, which was probably what he was going to do right now. Instead, he heard a midway protest, "That's—" before a sneeze punctuated his sentence.

Komaeda blinked, then let out a tiny laugh, staring at the small trail of mucus dribbling down Hinata-kun's nose. Cute. "Hehe. You sneezed because God blessed you with me."

"Oh my God, Komaeda. Just tell me to freaking kiss you already."

"...h-huh? What—"

Komaeda didn't get to finish his sentence. Before he had managed to process Hinata-kun's words into a coherent thought, Hinata-kun had drawn the covers off Komaeda and stooped down. In a moment, Komaeda felt Hinata-kun's lips pressed against his own, and they left as quickly as they met.

"W-Wha—" Komaeda raised fingers to his lips, unable to coherently utter a sentence. "H-Hinata-kun, you, I, you—"

"Did you taste the rainbow, Komaeda?" Hinata-kun coughed. "'Cause I had _Skittles_ in my mouth."

Komaeda realised just how bad his pick-up lines had sounded. But then he smiled despite the redness on his face mirrored by Hinata-kun's own.

"I didn't. M-Maybe you'd want to kiss me again."

.

Hinata-kun then caught Komaeda's cold, promptly receiving babying from the white-haired male and his corny pick-up lines. Not that he needed them in the first place to fall in love with him.


End file.
